Monday, August 5, 2013

God's Grace & Toddlerhood

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9
Little Jack
January 2013

 I have a 3 year old.  To all those who are the least familiar with toddlers realize that that is enough said.  I find myself wondering lately what happened to the sweet little boy I had a little over a year ago.  I also find myself wondering what have I done to make him so whiney and disrespectful.

Last night as I lay in bed . . . .  by myself!  (As Daddy Jack was at work, Ava was asleep in her cradle,  and Little Jack was off at Grandmas.  Only the second time he's ever spent the night away from home.  But this mother hen had had it up to her eyeballs for one day.  So that's why I found myself in bed by myself. )

Last night as I lay in bed, I found myself reflecting - a lot.  I had just read a devotion from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers about how brave God is to choose us humans for His purposes.  Which at the time seemed like just another devotion . . . .  What was on my mind was how I cannot do this, how I'm a failure at motherhood.  And I'm absolutely right!  I cannot do this on my own.
"It is not a question of our equipment but of our poverty, not of what we bring with us, but of what God puts into us; not a question of natural virtues of strength of character, knowledge, and experience - all that is of no avail in the matter.  The only thing that avails is that we are taken up into the big compelling of God and made His comrades."
My Utmost for His Highest, August 4
God has entrusted me with these two little souls.  He has chosen me to raise them.  (God truly is brave!)  Little ole me who has nothing, who is nothing without Him. 

I found myself begging for more and more grace!  It's not about Little Jack's whineyness and disrespect; it's about me accepting God's daily provision.

And He let me know how much He misses me.  I have neglected the One Who provides - strength, patience, creativity, energy, love, and anything else that is needed to live with a 3 year old!  How could I have expected the environment around here to have been any different!?!
"The main thing about Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the atmosphere produced by that relationship."
My Utmost for His Highest, August 4